My good friend Deb. reports that my newfound enchantment with the octopus leaves her rather cold. In addition, the thought of my imminent move hit her hard this morning. So I have used this opportunity - taking up an idea that she suggested in January - to both warm her up and cheer her up...
Above is a portrait that is newly believed by some (though not by others) to be William Shakespeare (1564-1616). As we all know, the Bard had a way with words. When I studied his plays, I was charmed by the cleverness of his insults. Listed below are some of my favorites, retrieved from Insults.net:
Vile worm, you were overlooked even in thy birth.~The Merry Wives of Windsor
Teeth hadst thou in thy head when thou wast born to signify thou came to bite the world.~Henry VI Part 3
An index and obscure prologue to the history of lust and foul thoughts.~Othello
If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.~The Two Gentlemen of Verona
A huge translation of hypocrisy, vilely compiled, profound simplicity.~Love's Labour Lost
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.~Macbeth
He hath out-villiain'd villainy so far that the rarity redeems him.~All's Well that Ends Well
And in his brain which is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage, he hath strange places.~As You Like It
All that is within him does condemn itself for being there.~
MacbethThy bones are hollow, impiety has made a feast of thee.~Measure for Measure
He that depends upon your favours swims with fins of lead, and hews down oaks with rushes.~
CoriolanusToads, beetles, bats, light on you.~The Tempest
A monster, a very monster in apparel.~The Taming of the Shrew
Where will thou find a cavern dark enough to mask thy monstrous visage.~Julius Caesar
Not shaped for sportive tricks, nor made to court an amorous looking glass.~
Richard IIIYou have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.~Much Ado About Nothing
I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee somthing.~Timon of Athens
And if those tickle you, you may get a laugh by generating a Shakespearean insult on
MainStrike.com,
Pangloss.com, or
webweaving.org.
Finally, note that Shakespeare offers a curse to anyone who disturbs his earthly remains.
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